Last updated on 13/10/2026
I swear to god, if you tell me one more time that you wish there was something you could do, I’m going to fucking scream.
Where do we even start? No you don’t, not even a little bit. You bought a brand new tesla less than three months ago. Were you in a coma? Did you somehow miss what an immense jackass Musk was? No, as far as I can tell, you’re still breathing. You walked into the room and looked at me when we spoke, so the eyes and ears are still functioning. What is it then? Are there no other luxury electric vehicles with comparable options at comparable price points? No, that’s not really it either.
Look, we can both be honest here. It’s just you and me. You didn’t want to. You had your heart set on a brand new tesla, and so that’s what you bought. Besides, how much difference does one purchase make anyway, right? He’s already rich, and the margin on another hundred grand isn’t going to make a difference in the grand scheme, is it?
Maybe, maybe not, but that’s really not the point. If it wasn’t the smallest token action you could have made, certainly it was among them. You might not have been able to reduce the stress in my life, the wailing terror I feel when I look at the changes that continue to box me out of a life in the public sphere, but at least you could have told me you weren’t materially contributing to the folks working ceaselessly to make my life hell. You could have shown me in this tiny way that you weren’t ok with what was going on.
Except that you couldn’t. You couldn’t even do that. So spare me, alright? Now I’m left trying to figure out what it is you really mean. Do you mean you hope I think you’re the sort of person that has my back? I don’t. Why would I? You can’t do the cheap stuff, and don’t make some bullshit argument about ROI and impact of actions. You’ve got a fucking platform in a way I could only dream of, and you’ve had plenty of opportunities to use it, but you haven’t.
Maybe external actions are a bridge too far. Start small, start internally. Certainly you’ve seen how my colleagues interact with me, avoiding using any pronouns at all. Maybe tell them to knock that shit off. When I came out at work, it was because I got outed to the whole fucking company by my manager. Did you ever have a heart to heart with him about how shitty that was? Certainly you never told me you took any corrective actions there. Find an executive trainer that doesn’t conflate my experience of the world with drag and cross-dressers so I have access to the same opportunities everyone else in the company does. Stop doing career fairs at universities who would never have allowed me to openly attend. Fucking. Do. Something.
But you don’t do something, so that can’t be it. Maybe you meant that you wished this wasn’t happening so you wouldn’t be constantly confronted by it. Hey man, you and me fucking both. The thing is, you get to stop thinking about this when you go home because it’s not your life, not yet at least. You might be CIS and straight, but you’re brown, and they’ll work their way down the list until they get to you. I hope I live to see it, because knowing that this shit is coming for you too and that you’ll wish all too late you’d done something now is one of my few solaces in the world right now.